Perplexed Puppy

You can tell when Wyatt is confused. His ears droop, his tail droops and he gets a look of dismay on his face. Things that completely baffle Wyatt:

• Fire hydrants - They smell like dogs but they are brightly colored metal and clearly are not dogs. What the hell! Light posts and telephone poles also smell like dogs and are clearly not dogs but they are not Wyatt-eye-level so they are allowed. 
• Barking noises from people - Humans can meow and make any other sort of sound but no barking! That's just wrong.
• Car alarms that arm with a honk - Hey! We're not in the car anymore - what's up with it still making noise?